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Home » Featured, Fit Families, Sunshine Mama Drama

Life…Before Beginning and After.

Submitted by on May 19, 2010 – 6:00 AM6 Comments
Life…Before Beginning and After.

My husband called last week while I was chatting it up with my brother on the other line.  Immediately he demanded I get off the other line with my bro, begrudgingly I complied…I told my brother it must be serious and that we could pick up our conversation later.

I clicked back over to my hubby who seemingly was distraught.  He had sorrow in his voice when he informed me that one of our dear friends had passed away.  Not only was this a dear friend, but a daddy to a sweet young girl.

I sat in disbelief as he described the horrific situation.  The world had lost a great man, a Veteran who had served our country.

I waited patiently for my husband to return home from work thinking of ways that I could comfort him during this terrible time.

There were a few things that needed to be tended to…Memorabilia to be gathered throughout our home, flight arrangements to be made, loved ones to notify, etc…

Outside of the obvious feelings and routine that occur during the time of tragedy, I wanted to ensure my husband was feeling loved and cared for in his time of need.  This was my priority.  If nothing else, a way to escape the emotions that were stirring within myself.

Upon his return from work, I saw my husband cry for the second time in my life.  I waited patiently while he notified friends and family of the current crisis at hand.  When things had settled a bit, we sat and reflected.

It was time to revisit the good times, to shed light on the memory of his friend.  Time to look at not only the great loss, but the overall value of life in general.

It is so easy to take the day to day things in life for granted.   The sun rises, and it sets…Life can be grueling, it can be monotonous.  In all actuality. it can be whatever we make of  it.

I like to think of myself as a positive person…Taking life by the horns…Making lemons into lemonade, opening a window when a door closes, 1/2 full instead of 1/2 empty.  I am a trooper who will do whatever I can to ensure the happiness and well being of my family and friends.

My husband sleeps next to me as I write this blog, tears stream down my face.  Words cannot express the love and devotion I feel for him and my beautiful children.  I’m truly blessed and refuse to take any bit of my good fortune for granted.

This is a friendly reminder for all of you Mamas out there…Smile, love, and laugh often.  Leave the dishes and the laundry for the day and conger up a surprise for the man you love with your little bundles of joy.  It’s the small things and wonderful memories that will truly last a lifetime.

In loving memory of Derek “B” Matthes June 30, 1975-May 13, 2010.  Truly loved, Forever Missed…

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  • Cynthia says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss! Your article touches a nerve and it is so so true. It is the small things that matter and the everyday things that need to not bother us. Thanks for reminding us of the important things in life!!!
    LOVE YA!!!!

  • Lori,

    I am sorry for the loss of your dear friend. I am the type of person that ALWAYS had to have the dishes done, beds made, and everything perfectly in place. After Ileana was born I slowly let that go. There are many other things in life so much more important that I don’t want to miss. Enjoy all the memories. xoxox

  • Vinny B says:

    Last Friday was not a good day, I was saddened when I spoke with Matt in the afternoon, and he told me what had happened. As I read this my eyes welled up again. Such a sad thing when anyone passes at such a young age.

    Great article and great point, spend time with loved ones because you never know when it can suddenly end.

    Rest in Peace B, you will be greatly missed.

    ~ In Loving Memory of Derek Matthes

  • Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement!! It’s been a tough week in our home but yet a realization of how truly blessed we are…Life is short. I have realized this in several ways, shapes, and forms throughout my years. Lots of love to my wonderful family and friends!!


  • Mom says:

    Thank you Lori for expressing your love and support for Matt. I’m glad you and the girls were there for him. It was indeed a sorrowful time for all of us that knew Derek.

  • Uncle Wendall says:

    “Death ends a life, not a relationship”. Those words came from Derek’s funeral. I watched my Brother-in-law and best friend, Matt, carry the coffin of a veteran at Fort Logan National Cemetery. I heard words spoken from friends and family about a life that made an impact. He served his country. He served his friends and family. Derek’s untimely death makes us look inside ourselves and ask, “what kind of impact will I leave?”

    Derek’s death was also a painful reminder of the death of my cousin and hero, Stephen Duncan, who died in 2003 at the age of 29. It was a terrible shock to all of us, just as Derek’s death was. All I could do was make a promise. I made a promise in 2003, to live life for the both of us. Stephen always wanted to play the guitar. That is a goal for me.

    Derek took the time to tell me about how life on active duty in hostile territory is. He could’ve easily ignored my questions, or told me he didn’t want to talk about it. There have been times I have been approached by young Sailors who have orders in hand. At the time, talking about my experiences and telling them “how it is”, was the last thing I felt like doing. Then I remembered how a Marine named Derek patiently answered my eager questions. I chose to do for them what Derek did for me.

    The good die young, and their spirit reminds us of the influence they will always have on our lives. They remind us to always be our best and try to make a difference.

    Written in memory of Derek, and all Veterans who served their Country and died too young.