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June 30, 2016 – 9:41 AM | No Comment

Ever heard the old adage “kids say the darndest things?” There’s a reason for that, and chances are good that your kids have come up with some doozies of their own a time or two. …

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Relationship Rut

Submitted by on February 12, 2011 – 9:42 PMNo Comment
Relationship Rut

As this is my first time writing for this blog, I would like to say a few words about myself. I am a local licensed psychologist in my mid-thirties with two lively boys, respectively 5 and 6.5 years-old.  My passion is “reproductive psychology”, meaning everything that revolves around pregnancy, including infertility, pregnancy loss and postpartum adjustments as well as couples therapy. This said, my circle of friends is composed mainly of other couples with children in the preschool to elementary years. I have sadly been noticing that many of my friends have recently been complaining about their dream fairy tale fading. It started off by meeting their prince charming and finally organizing the marriage they had long been dreaming of and showing the world how in love they were. Some went on to spend a few years of enjoying life together and slowly everyone started having children. And well, if you are mom reading this blog, you all know by now that parenthood isn’t as easy and magical as what it seems like on television. As the early years of the children go by, couples are extremely busy taking care of the children, making sure there is enough money to pay all the bills and taking care of the house. Needless to say that there isn’t much time and energy left at the end of the day for romance and taking care of each other. And now, so many couples feel that they have grown apart. They woke up one day feeling like they don’t really know the person lying next to them. So where do we go from here?

Remember when you were passionately in love? How everything about life seemed more exciting, how happier you were with yourself, your partner, and everyone else? We can get our romance back by making room for it in our busy schedules and taking concrete actions. If you realize that your relationship is sliding to the side, the most important thing is to acknowledge and talk to your partner about it. Then put your relationship at the top of your priority list by making time to reconnect with each other each week. You can establish a date night which does not have to involve getting out of the house and spending money, just committing to spending quality time with each other after putting the kids to bed will do. You can also make a list of 10 things that you would like to do with each other and start crossing them off the list one by one. Surprise your partner with a random act of kindness and you’ll see that positive actions often breed positive reactions. Give a free back rub, prepare dinner, write a love note. These are the little things you used to do when you were first dating and made you love your partner so passionately. It’s the little things that count – not the big ones. And you don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day, do a little something romantic everyday for your partner and see the love and romance come back to your relationship!

Rachel Lefebvre, Ph.D. (Dr. Rachel) is a licensed psychologist
specializing in stress management and mind/body medicine. She
completed her training at Massachusetts General Hospital / Harvard
Medical School and at the Domar Center for Complementary Medicine in
Boston. For more information call 321-536-1724.

Follow Dr. Rachel Lefebvre, Ph.D. on Facebook and visit her website at www.girlfriendshealth.com


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