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June 30, 2016 – 9:41 AM | No Comment

Ever heard the old adage “kids say the darndest things?” There’s a reason for that, and chances are good that your kids have come up with some doozies of their own a time or two. …

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Home » Featured, Sunshine Mama Drama

Is a Constant Need for Approval Healthy?

Submitted by on January 26, 2011 – 6:00 AMOne Comment
Is a Constant Need for Approval Healthy?

As I volunteered in both of the girl’s classrooms today, I noticed a constant need for approval from the children in both Pre-K and Kindergarten classes.  When I mentioned my observation to one of my mentors, she enlightened me that the topic at hand has been on the rise in her last 20, plus, years of experience.

On the surface, this behavior seems 100% natural, not necessarily anything to be concerned about.  “Mama, is this picture pretty?” gives us the opportunity to offer our sweet babies reassuring words of praise.  It’s a way to connect, right?  Well, in my opinion, yes and no.  We all want to be loving, involved parents to our children, giving them positive reinforcement in all that they do.  However, today I noticed that most of the children I interacted with needed constant reassurance, guidance and praise to complete the simple tasks at hand.

This includes my sweet Hailey Rae inside, and outside, of the classroom.  Prime example – cleaning her playroom.  This is an EVERYDAY task and she is unable to complete it without having a total meltdown if I am not coddling, coaching, and holding her hand every step of the way…I’ve created a MONSTER! 🙂

I am a complete culprit when it comes to “over compensating” my children.  Are my own insecurities ruling my behavior?  Why do we as parents feel the need to cater to every little whim of our children and entertain them constantly?  Who the heck is in charge here, folks?

I know in my heart that it is within my children’s best interest to give them some breathing room. Let them complete a project on their own without Mommy and Daddy micromanaging. Easier said than done, I know.

If the fact that your child is, more than likely, co-dependent on every adult figure in their life isn’t enough for you to cut the umbilical cord to an extent, then let the fact that you are hindering their self confidence in social settings assure you that giving them some room to grow is definitely the key.

Our lives, as children and or adults, cannot be based on the approval of any one individual (parent, teacher, friend).  It is a proven fact that happy, healthy, independent people do not seek the approval of others.  They function based on their own expectations and standards for themselves.  We can’t please everyone. 🙂

In turn, if you feel the need to overcompensate, invest your energy in creating an independent, ethical, self confident little person.


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One Comment »

  • Sarah Marks says:

    You are an amazing mother. You are teaching your kids to make healthy choices physically and mentally, that’s good. I wish I new a lot more about good choices about food. Maybe I would not have struggled with weight loss when I was a teenager. That was really hard. Kudos to you for teaching them about good food choices. Everything seems so processed that is offered to our kids. Hey they look up to their gorgeous mom. They watch how dedicated you are to your workout and food choices. They look up to you. Good job!! As for the play room. Ahh you know mess is cleansing to the kids. I struggle with cleaning too. Its a mom thing. No advice there.

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