Carlyn’s Journey-Google “University”, My Best Friend III
I think that being a teacher automatically qualifies me as a knowledge seeking geek! Learning is what I do, and I honestly love it! To me, knowledge means power and control. Now with that being said, you should know that I consider Google my information bible. It’s my university…my best friend when it comes to answers. Let me elaborate.
The day that I got the internet on my Blackberry was a fabulous day for me. On the other hand, it was a cold, dark day for Robbie. You see, Rob has always had a unique way of convincing me that everything he says is true, right down to the tall tales he makes up. I don’t know how he does it, but Rob can elaborately tell me “facts” that sound so real, but are as far from the truth as Pluto is from the sun. I’ll believe him. Then an hour or so later, after I have swallowed the bait…hook, line, and sinker, he just laughs and says, “You are so gullible.”
I remember this one time after such an event when Rob smugly spouted, “How can you be so beautiful, yet so dumb?” I replied, “Well God made me beautiful so you would fall in love with me. He made me dumb so I would fall in love with you.” HA, HA! (No, that really didn’t happen. My preacher told that joke in church last week. I thought it was so funny that I had to use it. It’s a good one, right?) Anyway, boy do I have an arsenal of information just waiting to fire at Rob now…all thanks to Google of course! When he goes spouting off one of his tall tales, I just whip out the phone and POW! I Google it!
See! Knowledge IS power! Especially with a husband like mine! However, I haven’t always felt so knowledgeable. When I took charge of my fertility, I was very behind in the “know your body” area. My parents decided that Sex Education was not appropriate for a nine year old. Now that I think about it, they didn’t feel it was appropriate for a ten year old, or an eleven, twelve, thir….well, you get the picture. With such a sheltered upbringing, it’s a miracle that I even know what all the important parts are called! (I’d like to take this time to give a shout out to my girlfriends, who made sure I knew exactly what was said in the forbidden SEX class.) At the time, I felt their knowledge saved me from the embarrassment of being clueless, but now, I don’t know which is worse: hearing it from an educated adult, or second hand from nine year olds who use terms such as winkies and hoo hoos in their detailed descriptions!
Needless to say, my journey to fertility enlightenment was very interesting, and shocking at times to a shy girl with little background knowledge. I tried to find all of the resources I could about getting pregnant. I talked extensively with people I worked with who were going through infertility. I joined www.fertlityfriend.com , which charted my best days for ovulation using the ovulation thermometer, and of course, I Googled. I also decided to make an appointment two months in advance with my OBGYN (Dr. Nonchalant).
After the first month of all the charting, I noticed something very odd. If I was doing www.fertilityfriend.com correctly, and I was sure that I was, it appeared that I did not ovulate. I checked the numbers and the charts again, and decided to give it another month. What do you know! Another month of…you guessed it! No ovulation! I thought this was especially strange, considering I was on medicine (Clomid) that was supposed to help with ovulation. Luckily, it was time to go see Dr. Nonchalant.
I honestly have to say that I felt so smart going into this appointment. I had done my homework. I had taken charge of my fertility! I had done everything right, and I was ready to have this intelligent conversation about what WE could do next to fix the problem. I even went armed with my “fertility friend” charts showing that I had not ovulated.
As I waited patiently in the waiting room, I thought about what “Dr. Nonchalant” would say. I imagined it to be something like, “Oh Mrs. Duncan! You discovered the problem! You are the most prepared, well educated, in control patient I have seen in my 30 years as a doctor.” Ok, so I knew it was a long shot, but still, I was impressed with myself, and I wanted him to be impressed as well.
Finally, they called my name and I was face to face with my doctor. I thoroughly went through my data and my charts. Then I sat quietly, waiting for my due praise, but unfortunately, it didn’t come. My doctor looked confused. He barely glanced at my charts before bursting into laughter. His laughter caught me totally off guard, but his next words through me for a double loop. “Mrs. Duncan,” he said matter of factly. “I think you are over-reacting.”
WHAT?!?! Say again, please! He handed me my charts and said, “These ovulation charts are really an unconventional way of predicting these things. That’s what I’m for. You are a healthy young lady, and I am sure that you just need more time. It took my wife a year to get pregnant, but eventually it happened naturally. I think you are adding some unnecessary stress to yourself. I say to stop doing THESE charts and stay on the medicine for another six months. If nothing has happened after that time, I will then send you to a specialist if you wish.”
I literally had to pick my chin up off of the floor. I could not believe what I was hearing. I thought to myself, “I think he just politely called me a dramatic idiot!” Defeated, underestimated and confused, I gathered myself and left his office. On the way home, I thought, “Was he right? Was I over-reacting?” I am the second child born in my family, which automatically means I am the most dramatic (just ask my mom!) “What do I do now?”
Well, one thing is for sure! The dramatic idiot decided that she’d overreact one more time, and find a new OBGYN!
Let the search begin!
Next: Get Real! (Which will post next Friday… Stay tuned!)