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Home » Featured, Sunshine Mama Drama, Teacher Talk

Just A Few Questions…

Submitted by on July 21, 2010 – 6:00 AM8 Comments
Just A Few Questions…

Have you ever heard the song “A Few Questions” by the country artist Clay Walker? Well, it really makes you think about all of the real life situations that people are put through in life. There is a part of his song that touches my heart every time I hear it. It goes like this:

How can two people, who built a lovin’ home,

Try for years and never have a child of their own?

When somewhere out there tonight,

There’s a baby no ones holding tight;

In need of love,

To me that don’t add up.

But I wasn’t there the day you filled up the ocean,

I didn’t get to see you hang the stars in the sky.

I don’t mean to second guess you, or criticize what I don’t understand.

These are just a few questions I have.

So why am I writing about this?

Well, if you have read my profile, you would know it took my husband and I over a year to conceive Ileana. As we were trying to have a baby this song would always bring a tear to my eye. It is so true. Throughout our “trying” period, I went to seven baby showers. Not the greatest thing in the world when you have had no luck BUT I couldn’t help but be happy for the blessed gift that my friends and family were going to receive. I firmly believe that God DOES have a reason for timing things in life. Whether you are religious or not, I’m sure you believe that everyone’s life has a purpose and it happens a certain way for a certain reason. For example, when I finally found out I was pregnant, my due date was the same weekend of my mothers four year anniversary of her passing. What a coincidence that on the day we found out the sex of our baby, it was a GIRL that I could name after my mother. AMAZING!!!!

Recently, I have been trying to be as supportive as possible to two of my girlfriends who are both wonderful people. I know how stressful it is trying to conceive and the toll it takes on you mentally as well as how it can affect your relationship without the right communication. It saddens me to hear of people who are so young and can not conceive. Why is this? Why do we have women having numerous amounts of children but can’t afford them, or getting pregnant numerous times and having countless abortions? Why do we have children in the world who are abused, neglected, under nourished, depressed, un-loved, found in dumpsters (sorry but its true), or conceived “by accident”? These are just A FEW QUESTIONS that I have.

One of my college friends has married a wonderful man. They are both hard working people, they take in dogs that need a home and take care of them as their children, help anyone in need, love God to the fullest, and have an amazing relationship. They have been trying for a little over a year now to conceive. After trying for a year they decided to both get tested. My girlfriend came out great. Unfortunately, her husband has malformed sperm. They have to continue collecting sperm, getting out the bad ones and cleaning the good ones. They will continue adding to the sample while my friend gets on Clomid. Then they will do an IUI (intrauterine infertility treatment) to hopefully then find out they will be expecting. This is still in the works…..

Another friend of mine who has a severe heart condition was told by many doctors after her wedding that she would never be able to have a child of her own because she was too high risk. After six months of meeting with several doctors she began looking at adoption. She showed up to my baby shower in hysterics and could not even stay to watch me open gifts. It was heart breaking to watch a mid-20 year old go through this. After finally coming to an understanding that she would be an adoptive parent, her cardiologist met with her for a check-up. She explained what she was going through and he was amazed. He could not understand why OBGYN’s would tell her that. It was only because THEY were scared to take a risk. Not because it was not possible. He hooked her up with a special OBGYN. About 2 months later she called me ecstatic that she was pregnant. Unfortunately, her sac was too big and the baby was not growing properly. She ended up having a miscarriage. Now she is taking some time to see if she wants to go through this again. Her journey continues…

I guess my point of this article is just to say, some of you may be blessed little fertile mertiles and others may not. Keep in mind how hard it is for some people in life and keep them in your prayers. I wish everyone the best of life in life’s greatest journey…MOTHERHOOD!


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8 Comments »

  • Karlee,

    I really appreciate your courage in sharing this with us. You touched on some very delicate topics, but I think it’s important to vocalize these issues!

    You bring up some very valid points regarding neglected children. Unfortunately I have been exposed to these types of situations more times than I care to share. It’s sickening that some people can even call themselves parents. Especially when there are SO many programs and resources available to help with ANY kind of situation or problem.

    I also appreciate the fact that you touched on the struggles of infertility. It is a topic we talk about often on the site between you and Sunshine Mamas, Carlyn Duncan…I think it’s important to remember proper etiquette when dealing with the feelings of others who are struggling. I guess I fall into the “Fertile Mertile” category which is fine and dandy but sometimes makes for an awkward situation. It almost makes me feel bad for being able to conceive easily when I hear stories like that of you and your friends. 🙁 On a positive note, it is a reminder of how we can band together as women and support each other. I will be praying for your girlfriends. I’m sure God has a plan for all of us!! 🙂

    Thanks again for your awesome contribution! I look forward to next months blog!

    Lots of love,
    Lori

  • Aida L. says:

    Karlee, Great post! I also am a firm beliver that God has a reason for timing things in life. While living in Tallahassee, my husband and I tried for a year to get pregnant with our first. We found out my job was transferring us back home where all our family was and the same month we also found out I was pregnant! Great timing! Now we have two little ones that are able to enjoy their grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Tell your friends to hang in there and have faith.

  • Karlee Callahan says:

    Lori,

    I am so glad I am able to contribute to this wonderful website we have going and I appreciate your comments.
    The world does have many issues but you are right, there are many support programs out there for parents to use. It just requires them to actually do it!
    I am glad that you are a “Fertile Mertile”!!!! I know it feels akward at times but you are blessed with a wonderful gift and your friends and family are happy for you no matter what situation (at least the should be…lol).
    As for me, I think it took me so long to conceive since I was on the pill for over 6 years. I have chosen to stay off this time in hopes that when we EVENTUALLY (not now) try for baby #2, it wont be so hard.
    Again, thanks for everything. BTW…Fertile Mertile, is #3 in your future? xoxo Karlee

  • Haha!! I think that all of my friends and family were happy for me. At least they acted like they were!! Lol! :):)

    I think any form of birth control seems to impact a lot of women in negative ways whether it’s with conception, hormones, other problems. For me, I will NEVER take it again. It just seems to be bad news any way you look at it! I utilize a Copper IUD, no hormones…it’s the only thing like it, it ROCKS!

    I am totally on the fence as far as a third child goes!! Three of my besties have just had babies…two of them have actually written for us, Sarah and Keri! These three babies are GORGEOUS!!! I absolutely have baby fever! I can honestly say I am 50/50. Sometimes it’s yes definitely, other times it’s no way!! 🙂 I could go on and on for reasons why…even more so than I did in my blog http://sunshinemamas.com/sunshine-mama-drama/how-many-is-too-many/.

    I can’t wait to hear about number two for you guys! Keep us posted!

    Love,
    Lori

  • Unkown says:

    Karlee- tears rolling down my face and a heart filled with peace… I want to say thank you for your blog. It was amazing. I’m still speechless but want to tell u thank you!

  • Karlee Callahan says:

    Lori,

    I am actually thinking about the copper IUD for myself. I hear there is one for a year, 5, or 10. I am glad to hear it is working out for you.

    Aida,

    I am a strong believer in having a meaning for everything. I am so glad that things worked out the way they did for you. Continue enjoying your beautiful family!

    xoxox Karlee

  • jennifer liberatore says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS POST! You always told me your wrote about me but I couldnt face it to read it. This post is perfect for you to reread now. The lyrics and frustrations you have are ones i struggle with every day. I love you to death!Thank you for thinking about me today and always!

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